When we were little, our parents told us that we could have anything we wanted as long as we worked for it and were determined to get it. Obviously that line of thinking didn't work so well for me at Toys R Us! As we grew older, we find out that things are actually harder to get than simply wanting to get it. Things are beyond our control and obstacles surface. It is this moment that the secret charm of getting anything you wanted simply fades away.
Recently, I've taken a new perspective on life. Well, I wouldn't say new...perhaps I'm revisiting a way of thinking that I've abandoned many years ago due to the inevitable process of growing up. I read "The Secret" and spoke to people who have read the Secret. To put simply, the general gist of The Secret is that anyone can get anything they want as long as they wanted it. Too often, we think about what we don't want and forget to think about the things that we actually want. Eg, I don't want to be late for work or I don't want to get fat. These are all negative statements and we are attractive negative situations to us. Yes...at first when I saw the words "energy" and "attract", i was like "hey hey...too Zen for me!" But to put simply, I'd like to look at The Secret as a more positive line of thinking and to block all negative thoughts. Even on a rational line of thinking...its a good thing to block off negative thoughts since there's no benefit of it anyway.
Regardless of whether The Secret is working, I've definitely felt much better when I'm consciously thinking good thoughts and banishing the bad ones. I started to appreciate all the little things around me that normally go unnoticed and I'm grateful for having the things I have at this very moment. Feeling gratutious is one of the keys to attracting what you want.
My mum would always tell me the story of when I was a little kid in Hong Kong - about 3. I was living with my Grandma at the time while she was waiting for Aus government to approve her PR. It was unknown when her PR would be approved and this was just a limitless waiting period. However my mum would say that whenever relatives asked me when I would be going to Aus with my Grandma, I'd reply with certainty and say "October...we're going in October so we can get there in time for Christmas". Obviously everyone laughed off my suggestion and decided that it was a little kid's wishful thinking. Low and behold, my Grandma's PR actually got approved in October. Maybe it is a coincidence....or maybe it isn't. It wasn't until I recently read The Secret that I started thinking about all the times I wanted something and got it.
I was in a rather tumultous relationship for nearly 2 years - lets call my ex partner X. I'd wake up everyday hoping that X and I would stop fighting and return to normal. However hoping is not the same as wanting. I hoped that we wouldn't fight....that he wouldn't treat me so bad. There is a common thread of these hopes was that I DIDN'T want something to happen. To be honest, I don't think I ever truly pictured us ever returning back to normal. Because of that...we never got back together the way we were before (and also because X is a really really bad egg).
I'd like to emphasise that this is no an endorsement of the Secret or Oprah! Its simply my experience of the Secret. Rather than following it strictly, I like its ideals and the line of thinking that its promoting. For anyone going through a tough time...maybe its helpful to just think of what you want right now instead of what you don't want :D
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
the ugliness of exams - literally
Thankfully for most of us, exams are nearly finished but for the unlucky ones, exams are just starting! I know that impending exams only mean one thing for me--> the UGLY DISEASE!
(1) massive outbreak of pimples/whiteheads/the ugly disease
(2) weight gain
(3) dark eye circles
(4) lack of grooming
I always felt that I could control my stress with procrastination means such as tetris or copious amount of facebook but my face will never betray how I am feeling. This would be evident by the lovely array of facial additions that would be sufficient for one to play dot to dot. A lack of sleep combined with much needed caffeine and sugar seems to be the primary villains. It seems that no amount of facial products can overcome this. Anyway, feeling bored, I raided the fridge last night and decided to make a natural mask of honey and eggwhites.
Eggwhites apparently have the function of tightening pores and whitening the face whereas honey has antiseptic properties which I assume may clear away those red bumps.
I gave it a try and voila...felt like a resurfaced road once again! As for the dark eye circles - I tried green tea bags but don't see a thing.
For all those who are unfortunate enough to bump into me during exam period - my apologies for the eyesore!
Good luck to everyone and I'll assure you that I'll return to my original form very very soon
(1) massive outbreak of pimples/whiteheads/the ugly disease
(2) weight gain
(3) dark eye circles
(4) lack of grooming
I always felt that I could control my stress with procrastination means such as tetris or copious amount of facebook but my face will never betray how I am feeling. This would be evident by the lovely array of facial additions that would be sufficient for one to play dot to dot. A lack of sleep combined with much needed caffeine and sugar seems to be the primary villains. It seems that no amount of facial products can overcome this. Anyway, feeling bored, I raided the fridge last night and decided to make a natural mask of honey and eggwhites.
Eggwhites apparently have the function of tightening pores and whitening the face whereas honey has antiseptic properties which I assume may clear away those red bumps.
I gave it a try and voila...felt like a resurfaced road once again! As for the dark eye circles - I tried green tea bags but don't see a thing.
For all those who are unfortunate enough to bump into me during exam period - my apologies for the eyesore!
Good luck to everyone and I'll assure you that I'll return to my original form very very soon
Sunday, June 15, 2008
What God wants in a relationship
Last night, I tagged along with Richard and Jeff to their weekly youth fellowship session. The topic was "boy/girl relationships" and what God wants in a relationship. It was a fairly insightful and interesting discussion but I can't say that I agree with it completely. I found that it was hard to relate where most people discussing it were devout Christians. It was hard to relate when all their actions are grounded upon a common understanding - that they do these things for God and that they do these things so that they would be a good Christian. If you don't really believe in God - then what do you do these things for?
The pastor started off by saying that in the bible, there is only 3 relationships
(1) platonic
(2) working toward marriage
(3) marriage
It was preached that people shouldn't test the waters as you could hurt those around you. Rather be sure of what you want and then while dating, you will be working towards marriage and intend to marry in the future. While theoretically very beautiful, I just don't think in this century that this is actually feasible. How can you work toward marriage if you don't even know whether that person is of marriageable material? Sure, you may have thought that the person has possessed all the marriageable qualities that you may want in a husband/wife but unless you date, you have no idea about whether you're compatible. Even if you have dated...people are always subject to change and thats why its virtually impossible to not test the waters.
One other thing said which really made me reflect was the fact that we should be careful who we enter into a relationship with for fear of making a detrimental mark in their relationship path which may carry into their next relationship---> Dominoes effect. This is very true as I can no doubt say that I have pushed people away in fear of the same thing which happened in past relationships. Should I blame that person? Well...I probably did the same thing with them. Thats why maybe we should all be content with singleness until we're sure that we've found the person and prepared to do everything to avoid making a mark in their relationship path.
The pastor started off by saying that in the bible, there is only 3 relationships
(1) platonic
(2) working toward marriage
(3) marriage
It was preached that people shouldn't test the waters as you could hurt those around you. Rather be sure of what you want and then while dating, you will be working towards marriage and intend to marry in the future. While theoretically very beautiful, I just don't think in this century that this is actually feasible. How can you work toward marriage if you don't even know whether that person is of marriageable material? Sure, you may have thought that the person has possessed all the marriageable qualities that you may want in a husband/wife but unless you date, you have no idea about whether you're compatible. Even if you have dated...people are always subject to change and thats why its virtually impossible to not test the waters.
One other thing said which really made me reflect was the fact that we should be careful who we enter into a relationship with for fear of making a detrimental mark in their relationship path which may carry into their next relationship---> Dominoes effect. This is very true as I can no doubt say that I have pushed people away in fear of the same thing which happened in past relationships. Should I blame that person? Well...I probably did the same thing with them. Thats why maybe we should all be content with singleness until we're sure that we've found the person and prepared to do everything to avoid making a mark in their relationship path.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
naked portraits
Whilst procrastinating, I rehashed some old Sex and the City episodes and there was this one episode where Samantha went to take some professional naked photos of herself so that she would remember herself at her prime when she's all old and saggy.
As vain as that may be, I personally think its a brilliant idea. Thank god for photos. How would us Asians survive without cameras! I look back at photos taken about 2 years ago and I could easily see the difference in youth - the forehead wrinkles and the tiredness in the eyes. As awkward as it may be posing nude in front of a random, I would love to capture myself at my prime so there is evidence that there WAS a prime! Perhaps not a photo...but maybe a painting. I always used to joke with a certain someone that if me and him were ever in a nude photo, someone may pull the photographer up for child pornography because we look like 12 year olds.
Anyway...less procrastinating and more studying.
As vain as that may be, I personally think its a brilliant idea. Thank god for photos. How would us Asians survive without cameras! I look back at photos taken about 2 years ago and I could easily see the difference in youth - the forehead wrinkles and the tiredness in the eyes. As awkward as it may be posing nude in front of a random, I would love to capture myself at my prime so there is evidence that there WAS a prime! Perhaps not a photo...but maybe a painting. I always used to joke with a certain someone that if me and him were ever in a nude photo, someone may pull the photographer up for child pornography because we look like 12 year olds.
Anyway...less procrastinating and more studying.
Racism - how hidden is it?
My parents were kind enough to take me out for a brief trip to Maccas seeing as I've been pulling my hair out studying and being a hermit. After that, we stopped off at the Rochedale IGA. For all of you who don't know Rochedale...its not the worst suburb in the world but you'll definitely not see any Stepford wives with their perfectly well dressed children.
So as we were perusing the aisles and I'm happily running toward the ice cream section, this stench that smelled worse than Asian dried fish mixed with garbage wafted toward me....and it became stronger and stronger. It was actually my dad who noticed it first and my dad is not exactly the most subtle of people. He used his fingers to pinch his nose as tried to wave the stench away. I steered my Dad away because I didn't want to cause a scene. Yes...bad odours can drive some people nuts but personally I think that some people can't help it and its quite rude to imply that someone stinks in public.
I turned around and then found the culprit of this glorious mix of garbage/asian dried fish odour and it was this grubby guy but didn't think much of it. Anyway, as we exited the shopping centre, the guy reappeared again and Dad once again did his nose pinching thing but the grubby guy noticed it. He then hurled a series of racial abuse "This is Australia...speak some damn English". Usually I would've hurled a series of abuse back but I was utterly speechless probably because I was SO angry. No...its not the first time that I've encountered racial abuse. I was perhaps more angry at the people around him. These people thought it was actually funny.
I ask again...how did racial abuse become the new comedian? I can fathom how that grubby guy was racist. He was probably brought up in a very unstable environment with little education and tolerance AND not to mention even a lack of shower gel and deodorant! But to the other shoppers around him who appear to be mildly educated - shame on you!
This incident is just one of many which makes me reflect on how racism is merely glossed over. Australia prides itself on being a fairly multicultural society and this is true to a degree when you look at the assortment of faces around us. The sentiment of Australians, however, is questionable. As a little kid, I grew up with even younger children hurling racial taunts at Asians which just makes you think....what kind of material is fed to these children at home? Most Australians don't voice racist opinions in fear of being denounced by society and crucified by social expectations. However, perhaps racism is very much still inherent in many people. This is quite evident when you go out in town on a Saturday night and you see drunks throwing racial abuse. Sure ... they're drunks and drunks say anything but then its only in times of a lack of consciousness do people reveal their real sentiments.
Even on a more subtle note, a random guy at Starbucks asked where we were from. I would tell people that I'm Australian - simply because I was born and bred here. Isn't that what the question is asking? But then the random guy would say "no...where ARE you from" as if we completely misunderstood the question. I repeated the question and he goes "no, where are your origins". I then got quite frustrated because once again I could see that hidden racism coming from him. Is it not possible to have an Asian face and be Australian? Once again...I could smell the stench of bigotry coming from that random guy. He might not be grubby or stink like garbage but his subtle racist remark is probably on the same level as the guy who verbally yelled out his ineloquent comments.
So as we were perusing the aisles and I'm happily running toward the ice cream section, this stench that smelled worse than Asian dried fish mixed with garbage wafted toward me....and it became stronger and stronger. It was actually my dad who noticed it first and my dad is not exactly the most subtle of people. He used his fingers to pinch his nose as tried to wave the stench away. I steered my Dad away because I didn't want to cause a scene. Yes...bad odours can drive some people nuts but personally I think that some people can't help it and its quite rude to imply that someone stinks in public.
I turned around and then found the culprit of this glorious mix of garbage/asian dried fish odour and it was this grubby guy but didn't think much of it. Anyway, as we exited the shopping centre, the guy reappeared again and Dad once again did his nose pinching thing but the grubby guy noticed it. He then hurled a series of racial abuse "This is Australia...speak some damn English". Usually I would've hurled a series of abuse back but I was utterly speechless probably because I was SO angry. No...its not the first time that I've encountered racial abuse. I was perhaps more angry at the people around him. These people thought it was actually funny.
I ask again...how did racial abuse become the new comedian? I can fathom how that grubby guy was racist. He was probably brought up in a very unstable environment with little education and tolerance AND not to mention even a lack of shower gel and deodorant! But to the other shoppers around him who appear to be mildly educated - shame on you!
This incident is just one of many which makes me reflect on how racism is merely glossed over. Australia prides itself on being a fairly multicultural society and this is true to a degree when you look at the assortment of faces around us. The sentiment of Australians, however, is questionable. As a little kid, I grew up with even younger children hurling racial taunts at Asians which just makes you think....what kind of material is fed to these children at home? Most Australians don't voice racist opinions in fear of being denounced by society and crucified by social expectations. However, perhaps racism is very much still inherent in many people. This is quite evident when you go out in town on a Saturday night and you see drunks throwing racial abuse. Sure ... they're drunks and drunks say anything but then its only in times of a lack of consciousness do people reveal their real sentiments.
Even on a more subtle note, a random guy at Starbucks asked where we were from. I would tell people that I'm Australian - simply because I was born and bred here. Isn't that what the question is asking? But then the random guy would say "no...where ARE you from" as if we completely misunderstood the question. I repeated the question and he goes "no, where are your origins". I then got quite frustrated because once again I could see that hidden racism coming from him. Is it not possible to have an Asian face and be Australian? Once again...I could smell the stench of bigotry coming from that random guy. He might not be grubby or stink like garbage but his subtle racist remark is probably on the same level as the guy who verbally yelled out his ineloquent comments.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Strategic dating
When one thinks of dating - the following images comes up - romantic candlelit dinners, walks on the bridge on a starry night...or perhaps I'm revisiting the scenes of a lame romantic comedy.
Perhaps its just my cynicism kicking in, but these days in the dating world, it all seems like a game. You and your date are the players and you both go to the battlefield with your strategies. The battle then comes to a stop. Its half time and the troops retreat back to their stations, waiting to battle it once more. Does it sound familiar? The girl gives the boy power by accepting or declining the date. The power then shifts after the date. The girl waits for the boy to call her back and then the game officially begins. Of course, it could always be the other way around. For my part and for most my comrades part, thats how the game starts.
When was it that dating became such a strategic, carefully thought out agenda. When did it stop being an innocent, carefree event where both people genuinely interested in each other simply go out to see if they are compatible. Maybe it never was and movies just simply glamorised the niceties of dates.
As a girl, if you enjoyed your date, you are reminded to stay calm and nonchalent so you don't seem so available. Throw the bait and wait for it to bite. As a guy, you need to watch out for the best time for intimate moments. You can either be frigid if you wait too long or alternatively (in extreme cases) dragged to the police station for alleged molestation. Either way, for both genders, the boundaries in dating in analogous to that of a minefield. Take each step with caution or the mine explodes - your date never to be seen again.
This year has definitely opened my eyes to the world of dating. To be honest, I'm a novice but after a few trial and errors, I've realised that for the dates to keep coming and for the dates to amount to anything else, a well thought out plan is a necessity. To be continued...
Perhaps its just my cynicism kicking in, but these days in the dating world, it all seems like a game. You and your date are the players and you both go to the battlefield with your strategies. The battle then comes to a stop. Its half time and the troops retreat back to their stations, waiting to battle it once more. Does it sound familiar? The girl gives the boy power by accepting or declining the date. The power then shifts after the date. The girl waits for the boy to call her back and then the game officially begins. Of course, it could always be the other way around. For my part and for most my comrades part, thats how the game starts.
When was it that dating became such a strategic, carefully thought out agenda. When did it stop being an innocent, carefree event where both people genuinely interested in each other simply go out to see if they are compatible. Maybe it never was and movies just simply glamorised the niceties of dates.
As a girl, if you enjoyed your date, you are reminded to stay calm and nonchalent so you don't seem so available. Throw the bait and wait for it to bite. As a guy, you need to watch out for the best time for intimate moments. You can either be frigid if you wait too long or alternatively (in extreme cases) dragged to the police station for alleged molestation. Either way, for both genders, the boundaries in dating in analogous to that of a minefield. Take each step with caution or the mine explodes - your date never to be seen again.
This year has definitely opened my eyes to the world of dating. To be honest, I'm a novice but after a few trial and errors, I've realised that for the dates to keep coming and for the dates to amount to anything else, a well thought out plan is a necessity. To be continued...
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